10/21/2011

Had a minor set back on my non smoking and started back up again for a few days. i have hopes to try to quit again. I have to try and be stronger i guess.

10/27/2011

i had a breakdown today. it was a pretty bad one. i think i need to take a pill or something to settle myself down.

i am working really hard to try to complete the afghan and the neck scarf i have been working on. i am full of new ideas of things i want to try to make too but there is only one of me and I cannot do it all alone at the pace I wish to have the things in my head completed. it leaves me emotionally drained and physically drained just thinking about it all not to mention trying to do it all. God I am so tired, and not only tired but all the meds for pain aren't helping as much as they should be.

this is it, i am officially old now. i have every symptom of menopause now, gee-sh

phone call

my sweet love called me last evening which really helped to lift my spirits a lot last night. so much so that i walked to the store for bread afterward. he is the worlds best medicine for me.

tonights dinner

i am not cooking but we will eat leftover enchiladas for dinner. i'm too depressed to cook.

today

today has been a really slow day. i walked to walmart for my lot rent money order early this morning. it was super cold outside. i wrote a letter to pat already and I have to get it to the mail box. i am really going through some high emotions right now. it is keeping me awake most of the time too. i am really at a loss as to what to do to calm myself down and relax. i just cannot get confrotable doing anything right now. i feel like i am going crazy inside.