so today i am really groggy because i stayed up late trying to fashion a cat bed out of an old wicker laundry basket, some fleece and polyester fiberfill. it turned out acceptable I think.

I finally got around this morning. I had to put a package out for the postman to pick up today. I almost forgot about that, so i stumbled out of the house in my nightgown and robe to place the package where i said it would be. then i came in to sit for a few minutes and get myself together. i was so shaky this morning. glad it is over for the time being. so i have done my usual getting around stuff, showered, dressed, scooped the litter box, etc.

i have decided I have to get more older baby hats in the shop. i only have two left after all the sales this winter, and winter pretty much has just started. will try that today i guess. i am still trying to finish an afghan i am in process of crocheting. its big and heavy now so i have some trouble working on it. no reading will be done today unless i need a break.

its been a while since i posted anything. i have several things different again. i closed my online shop since i never sold anything. now i guess i just make gifts or things to keep from now on. the dog leashes i took up to the local pet shop have not yet sold either. i started smoking again too. i know eventually i will quit again but not ready to give it up yet. i have lost interest in my crafting for the moment and my crafts sit idol in the positions they where in when I last worked on them. i dont know what to do to get back into it again. i think i just really burned myself out for real. i still have bobbie to keep me company but i get so lonely at home that I go and visit my neighbors a lot. i did read a book in the last two weeks and I have started reading the second book in the series.

so has happened the last few days. my fish tank started leaking water. so the fish had to go. we kept the tank though and it now houses a cavy. she is very cute and happy to be here. today i had to assist my adoptive mom and dad e file their taxes. I also had to clean the house and rearrange stuff again. pat and i went to the pet store where we traded fish the last time for the cavy to pick up the cooler and the bucket from the other day. then pat got called to go help one of his friends to pick up a new TV stand at walmart this evening before dinner so we have had a full few days. needless to say I am dog tired. i only wish i had better pain medication.

weight 310. did my aerobics this morning and my ab lounger. feeling like a blimp. totally depressed.

i am getting really tired of doing the same things over and over again. i have been doing different stuff to try to get past the feeling. i have also started to grow my nails out again. i painted them platinum color today. they turned out really good for a change. today i also cleaned the fish tank and have been crocheting baby bibs from scrap yarns.

my gosh the time does fly when you are keeping busy. i had no idea it had been so long since i posted anything. i have been so busy using my new sewing machine and crocheting and teaching myself to knit that it seems i have little time for anything else. the holidays where especially difficult when i was trying to make gifts for everyone on my list, and once i thought i was finished doing that someone new would be added. then i had to deal with after Holiday depression because not all the gifts i made for certain people where appreciated. that killed my gift giving spirit for real. but not i am back into working and i have recently completed crocheting my first sweater. placed it for sale in my shop so you can find it there.

i am still on the weight roller coaster and i have to try to dedicate myself to the diet better. i have had terrible issues with blood sugar drops. weight this morning was 305.8 on my brand new glass scale. Jesus how I wish it was just so easy to loose 100 pounds. but it isn't easy at all. after eating like a pig yesterday today i have to try to rededicate myself to the weight loss again. i feel terrible this morning and i should. i am disgusted with myself.

i feel exhausted today. i had to take another sleeping pill last night and something for my restless leg to get to sleep. of course i slept a ton yesterday off and on all day long. today i have to remain awake for the carrier pick up i requested for my package that is shipping out. have two projects i am working on to keep me busy today. i have to get more done on the cashmere neck scarf i am knitting and i am crocheting a granny afghan out of the remaining dazzleaire yarn i have. I think i am also going to have to pull out my store totes and place the price/info tags on all my completed items. that will take a while now.

it's tuesday

i spent monday crying off and on, this morning so far I called my love at 4 am, then I took a shower, prayed the Rosary, had a glass of chocolate milk, and now i have the sneezes. it is way too cold in here this morning.

been a while

well it has been a while since I posted anything for sure. there has been a lot going on with my life. i thought I had moved and I found out I couldn't move just yet, it broke my heart for sure. i have been house-sitting pat's place since i can't live here for the time being. he will be coming home on Thursday. i am so excited and happy to have him come home. it will be so great once we can finally live together. it is fantastic here. I love hearing cows mooing in the early morning. it is so peaceful.

today

i am very tired. but doing some laundry. my stitches are hurting. i'm thinking of pat a lot. i miss his voice. i know he must be so tired working 12 hour days this week. 50 days left until we are together every day.

busy day

today i paid all my bills and did the grocery shopping. walked to walmart 2 times, the mail box two times, and then walked to the office once. i am beat and hurting. pat called me too, God i miss him already. i so want to go and see him again but i'll never get another ride until June. i think he wants to wait to buy a car when we can pick it out together. i am totally confused as to what to do now. this depresses me.

good things coming soon

i have plans on Sunday to visit my love for the first time. i'm scared and somewhat nervous, but very excited to be getting a chance to spend some of the day with him. then after that i get to go and look at a double wide mobile home we are interested in. i am not nervous about that at all. i hope all turns out to be a great sunday!

Thank you God for all the blessings you have brought into my life recently!

today

i am having a quieter day today. i walked to the post office box to drop a letter to pat, then on to walmart for groceries i missed yesterday. then i came home put in a load of laundry and tried to take a nap but only nodded off for a brief 15 minutes. so i got up and cut Andrew's hair. then i took care of teh hermit crabs food and water dishes. doing more laundry now and waiting for the mail to arrive. I know there should be something special for me in it today.

good morning

i got to bed early last night, and up earlier today, not much earlier, but a little. it is raining cats and dogs outside. is supposed to change to freezing/snow maybe later today. i suddenly got into a bad mood when the kids made a kitchen mess after i went to bed last night and i hate getting up to a dirty kitchen.

yesterday i got a new printer, and passed the old one on to my daughter since hers broke. i got a photo printer this time. yay. i also picked up another shower caddy for the hermit crabs so now they have two second level areas, the new one is the shell shop.

i have to write a letter to pat this morning and get it in the mail today.

it is chilly in my room, i need to get dressed.

today

i have been keeping busy paying bills and walking to walmart and back home two times. hurting like a s.o.b. now and pretty tired.

today

i am doing laundry and cooking in the slow cooker again. i am making a chicken chili for dinner. it is fantastic looking and my oldest daughter's recipe. I am also waiting for the ups delivery i am expecting. it should have been delivered yesterday but wasn't. i am kinda pissed about it too. my new cricket phone will be delivered on Thursday just as i suspected. i think i will wait to activate it once pat has called me that day. Thursday is his birthday and I don't want to miss his phone call at all.

i have been weighing myself regularly and i lost yet another pound now weighing in at 281. I am not sure how this is happening but it is ok with me.

so far today

i walked up to the office and paid my lot rent. i talked with the manager about my bad neighbor. she is going to try to have a face to face talk with her to try and figure out what is going on. i sure hope it helps. no one in the neighborhood has done anything at all to her so I wish she would just leave everyone alone. i walked to the mailbox around 1:30 and got the mail. just a bunch of catalogs and a business letter. i need to walk to walmart but i am being lazy today. i will go tomorrow. i have yet to write a letter to pat today. i will later.

good night and then some more too

sorry for not posting about much but being sick. it is really the only thing i have going on right now. i have been writhing letters to pat every day and mailing them every day since i dont have the phone time to allow him to call me as often as we would both like, so I am hoping that getting a new letter every day will help him to feel better and me too.

i am ready for bed and sitting on the edge of the bed writing. i love having a laptop now. not sure i would want a desktop computer again. they are way too bulky for me. i love the freedom the laptop allows.

my neighbor is out there banging around and such again. god how i am tired of her already. i tried really hard to be friendly with her. to no avail it seems. i am not kissing her ass and walking on glass with her. i was here first. every day and night it is all the same crap with her.

pippin is doing really great in the 20 gallon tank..the heat lamp arrived today and i got that set up for him. wish my temp/hum. gauge would arrive too. getting tired of dragging one between two tanks. anyway, he found the food dish today and was happily eating until he saw me walk into the room then he dived into his shell to hide from me. he is much more comfy in this room though because it is darker and way quieter then the living room. i can hardly wait for the others to come up from their molts in the 10 gallon tank.

i am seriously thinking about staying in bed longer tomorrow than i did today. i think if i had stayed in bed i maybe would feel better then i do. my nose is so sore from sneezing and blowing all the time. i don't think i am getting any better but i know i am not getting any worse either.
i lost 3 pounds according to the bathroom scale.

i am so ready to try to get some sleep. good night.

sick and tired

literally sick and tired. super sore throat, feverish, chills. i so need to just stay in bed but i can't ever just do that.

i want to write another letter to pat tonight. I have 162 minutes left on my phone after last nights phone call. Probably would have had less if he called earlier in the day, but that is ok. planning on calling me again next sunday, but he may give in before then he said. i asked him to try to hold out till friday if he could. i am madly in love with this man. he is so good to me.

worked all day

re-arranging my room. i like it much better like this. then i took a nap until the kids came home from school.